Facts About Divorce

An Uncontested Divorce Benefits Both Partners

2008-08-20T01:42:00.000-07:00

Any divorce can be a painful and emotional experience. It is often difficult for both partners, their children and other family members. For example, a mother-in-law could really like her son-in-law and be very disappointed that her daughter was not happy. This woman is sad to see the divorce. Other friends and family are similarly affected by a divorce. Sometimes people are so angry or hurt because of a divorce, and they end up in ugly battles over children and possessions. The family dog might even be part of the dispute if both partners liked the dog. Lawyers are often the only beneficiaries of a divorce if a couple battles over the details of the dissolution agreement.

An uncontested divorce is often a good idea for everyone but the lawyers. In an uncontested divorce, both partners usually agree that the marriage cannot be saved and that they will agree on the terms without the intervention of the court. The couple usually has to sit down and work out the details in a civilized way for the terms of an uncontested divorce. If they can put their hurt feelings aside, an uncontested divorce can save them a fortune. Usually an uncontested divorce makes life easier on the children and others who might be affected by the split in a marriage.

An Uncontested Divorce Solves Many Problems

A divorce usually costs a lot of money because the lawyers charge high fees for their services. There are other fees as well if the court headed by a judge gets involved in a divorce. The assets of a couple can be totally obliterated by the costs for the lawyers and the judge. There are other losses that people suffer because of a divorce. People often have to sell their house to come to terms for a divorce. If the market is bad at the time, a couple could lose money by selling the house at the wrong time.

An uncontested divorce will take some time, patience and common sense. The couple may have to decide that one partner can live in the house until there is a better time to sell. They will also have to agree on arrangements for child care if they have children. There have been instances where people fought over silly things that resulted in extra fees for their divorce. An uncontested divorce will allow people to keep their own funds and pay less to the lawyers.

A Trial Divorce Might Provide Relief

2008-08-18T03:33:00.001-07:00

Most people get married and intend to remain married to the same spouse as long as both partners live. Unfortunately, many people cannot live up to the vows they take on their wedding day, and they end up in divorce court. Some people last a few months with their spouse while others last for years before deciding that they want out of this commitment. A breakup is usually difficult for one or both of the people involved in a divorce. Sometimes people experiment in a trial divorce to see if they might save their marriage and live up to their vows.

A trial divorce is sometimes effective in reuniting the couple for all they needed was some breathing space in order to appreciate their partner. A trial divorce gives them time and space to consider their options and their desires. Some people who experiment with a trial divorce move to separate quarters or even separate states. The arrangements for a trial divorce can vary considerably although the main objective of a trial divorce is often the same for all of those who try a trial divorce. Some people find out quickly that they do not want a divorce after their trial divorce, but other people take longer with this experiment.

A Trial Divorce Often Provides Time For Reflection

During a trial divorce, most people find out quite a bit of information about their marriage. One partner may find out things that the other does not like, but at least they find some solutions to their problems. One partner may find out that they like their life away from their partner better than they like their life with their partner. They might feel a sense of freedom that energizes their life. On the other hand, they might find out that they resented some of their partner’s habits, and they do not want to deal with these habits any more.

Some people might find out that their marriage was really important to them, and they find out that they cannot live without their partner. They might find out that their partner annoyed them often, but they are really lonely without the companionship that they found in their marriage. At the end of any trial divorce, people have to make some difficult decisions. Some marriages are much better after trying life apart while other people decide that life outside of their marriage is much better. Hopefully, an experimental divorce will help the couple make important decisions.

State Divorce Laws can be Difficult and Confusing

2008-08-12T04:57:00.001-07:00

The end of a marriage can be a very emotional and stressful time. There are so many things happening all at once, and the adjustment to life after marriage is not easy. You can make the divorce process easier on yourself and everyone involved by becoming familiar with the state divorce laws that apply to you.

Divorce is an issue that is handled by the states rather than the federal government. When you decide to dissolve a marriage, you are governed by state divorce laws that dictate how you should proceed with the divorce, how the property must be divided, and what type of spousal or child support is appropriate.

Even the type of divorce that you can pursue is governed by state divorce laws. Most states allow you to file no-fault divorces, in which the petitioning spouse is not required to prove that the other spouse did anything that resulted in the divorce. At least one state, New York, still requires that fault is shown before a divorce can be granted.

Your situation may be confusing if you married in one state but moved to another, or if you are separated and your spouse lives in a different state. Which state divorce laws do you follow? Can you choose which state divorce laws should apply to your situation?

Seek Professional Help

The best way to handle these concerns and to navigate the choppy waters of divorce is to hire a divorce lawyer who is knowledgeable of state divorce laws. A divorce lawyer who is experienced and good at his or her job will have no problems at all identifying your needs and helping you to find the best solution for your divorce.

Hiring a divorce lawyer is almost always your best course of action because state divorce laws can be extremely tricky. Especially if you have a lot of property to divide, assets to split, or child custody issues to settle, you may find yourself completely overwhelmed by the intricacies of state divorce laws.

If you can't afford a divorce lawyer or you just strongly prefer to handle the process yourself, you should do everything you can to familiarize yourself with applicable state divorce laws. You can read up online, go to your local library, or ask for advice from people who have been in your shoes. Better yet, you can pay a lawyer for his or her time just as a consultant without hiring them to take on your case. This allows you access to their expertise without paying their high rates for many hours.

Although there is no way to make divorce easy or fun, by preparing yourself and knowing how to navigate state divorce laws you can ease the burden just a little and make the process easier on everyone involved.

Two Reasons People Divorce

2008-08-04T04:52:00.001-07:00

When two individuals are in love, discussion between the two often turns to the commitment of marriage. Marriage is a union between two people who express their unwavering devotion to each other and vow to be faithful for the remainder of their life to each other.

However, events happen in our lives that are beyond our control. In fact, it has been recently estimated that one out of every two marriages end in divorce. There are many factors that can contribute to the demise of many a marriage. Two of the major reasons people divorce are money and lack of communication.

Money

When it comes to money, there are a variety of ways that people interact with this necessity of life. For example, some individuals are savers and always want to be putting their money away for a rainy day. An some other individuals are spenders and are always throwing away their money and their spouse's money as if there was no tomorrow. When individuals bring this wide gap in financial values to a relationship, there may be challenges in reconciling those differences.

Therefore, when a couple is joined together in matrimony, they bring these various financial perspectives into the relationship, which in turn may cause a strain on the relationship that eventually cracks it apart. Consequently, if there is no give and take in regards to the handling of the finances those differences may ultimately be one of the reasons people divorce.

Lack Of Communication

Another major reason people divorce is because of lack of communication. This potential reason people divorce is due to the fact that some individuals communicate and some individuals over communicate.

Obviously, people are different and handle various situations in a different matter. For example, one individual may incessantly talk about what is on their mind, how their day went, how they are feeling, etc. On the other hand, there are those individuals who may keep things within and not speak their mind.

In addition, in regards to communication as a reason people divorce, it is important to speak one's mind in regards to daily interactions with one's spouse. This is important because many marital partners do not express themselves when they are hurt by the other individual or never engage in open and honest dialogue with the marital partner. Eventually, if this continues, the possible anger that is experienced and not vented may turn inwardly which eventually will turn into hate.

Four Most Common Reasons For Divorce

2008-08-01T01:13:00.000-07:00

There are many reasons for divorce each one saying that the two persons who once thought they could not live without one another, can no longer live with each other. It is sad to see a marriage falling apart and break, but most often than not this is due to a disparity in expectations by both spouses than anything else.

What Are The Most Widespread Reasons For Divorce?

Among the hundreds of reasons that are quoted everyday as the cause for divorce four are most familiar. But before you read about these common causes, you need to know that most divorces could be averted if the couple worked at the relationship right from day one.

Marriage Is Perfect

The misconception that marriage to a soul mate means it would be a bed of roses is one of the main reasons for divorce the world over. There are no perfect matches or perfect marriages. There is no perfect person either. You need to know that a good marriage means you will have hard times as well as good times and be prepared to handle these with maturity.

Marriage Is Hard Work

When you love a person it does not mean that you would turn blind to all their shortcomings; rather it means you love them despite of it. When two people marry each one comes with certain expectation from their spouse, which when is not forthcoming becomes first a point of frustrating and then the instigation to be revengeful. You want to avoid reasons for divorce, you need to focus on what you can do for your spouse and marriage and allot a lower profile to what you should get from your spouse and marriage.

Marriage Is Commitment

Look at your friends. Are they perfect? Nonetheless you love each one of them and you also accept their faults with absolutely no problem. Why then you have trouble applying this formula to your spouse? The inability to accept the failings of your spouse often lead to bitterness and deterioration of marriage.

Marriage Is The Ability To Encourage Mutual Growth

Often one of the spouses needs to make some sacrifices in order to see that the other advances in their career. Sometimes such sacrifices are taken for grated over a period of time making the sacrificing spouse resent their own role in the long run. In such cases the reasons for divorce are obvious – the sacrificing spouse feels the price is too high to stay with the marriage while the other feels unappreciated.

Marriage Is Fidelity

The most common of all reasons for divorce is still adultery. You would wonder why should someone married go ahead and fall in love all over again or even contemplate having an affair. The reason lies with the way marriage shapes up. If the marriage is complete, the spouses would be too centered on one another to allow any other person into their lives. However, when there are gaps it is easy to stray away.

Post Divorce Parenting Tips – Making Your Children Comfortable In Two Homes

2008-07-30T00:25:00.000-07:00

Divorce is often heart-wrenching for children. Parents try to overcompensate for the pain in different ways. The best arrangement would be when the children know they were welcome to live with either parent. This is not difficult to achieve if both the estranged spouses can come to a common understanding.

Marriage Might Not Last Forever, But Parenting Is

One of the most important post divorce parenting tips is to internalize the fact that parenting is forever. The children too should know that they are loved by both parents equally and that they were not in any way forced to take sides. It is very important that the parents abstain from comparing or competing against each other as the children would catch on very soon and use this weakness as a weapon against both parents.

Your children will now have two homes. This is a fact and as such should be accepted by both estranged spouses. Your children need to feel at home in both places and for this you both need to take a few concerted steps. According to post divorce parenting tips the transition period for children can be smoothened out if they are made comfortable with living in two homes.

The first step in this direction is to ensure that the children have all the clothes they needed in both homes. The parent who moved away from the marital home should take the trouble to buy a new set of clothes for the child so when they come to live in the new home all they would need to carry with them would be their school bag and books.

You also need to see that they have their own place in the house – their own room would be great, but if that is not possible give them a place they could call their own where they could create their own space. Ensure that they have all that they are used to in both homes which would include their video games, computer, books, and so on.

Most post divorce parenting tips point against recreating a duplicate of their rooms in the marital home. Rather, you should ensure that it is a special place which they love and are free to use as they please.

If you want your child to settle emotionally soon, you need to set routines. This is one of the most ignored post divorce parenting tips because the majority of parents feel that routines add to the stress that the children feel during the divorce. Contrary to popular belief, routines actually help the children get through the trauma rather than add to it.

Lastly, the most invaluable of all post divorce parenting tips – remember to keep the dialogue open and light. Make an atmosphere where the children feel free to talk with you about whatever is on their minds, so you can help them cope with the transition.

Permanent Disability Support In A Divorce And What You Can Do About It

2008-07-29T00:35:00.000-07:00

There are scores of people out there who are struggling with this question and unfortunately, there is no straight answer to it. There are many clauses that would affect the amount the court would award your spouse as permanent disability support in a divorce.

What Is A Permanent Disability Allowance In A Divorce?

This is a type of alimony or spousal support which would be paid until the remarriage or death of your spouse since she would be incapacitated by the disability and unable to support herself otherwise. In some cases this type of support would end in the case of co-habitation where it can be proved that this is done so as to continue to receive the permanent alimony.

What Is The Best Way To Decide On The Allowance For Permanent Disability In A Divorce?

When the matter goes to the court and the litigation takes long both the parties suffer. In these cases it is always best to come to a mutual agreement before going to court. In most cases the spouses know exactly what amount of money would be reasonable given their financial situation and therefore it would be best to come to work it out and come to a figure that suits both.

Fight Off The Temptation Of Giving Guilt Money

Divorcing your spouse who suffers from some terrible permanent disability sometimes would make you feel like a selfish monster. When you feel this way you would be tempted to overdo the allowance for permanent disability in your divorce to compensate for the feeling of guilt that engulfs you. You need to fight off this temptation and come to a sum that is fair to both of you. She is entitled to a comfortable life and you should do your best to see that she has one; at the same time so do you.

Before you come up with a number that is suitable for her, check out what is suitable for you. Make a list of all the payment that you need to make and deduct these from your total income. Now take a long look at what remained and see how much you can part with without bending over backwards. Keep that number in your mind when you negotiate with your spouse and if she was reasonable you could come to a settlement before going to court which would make things easier for everyone.

In case you have to go to court to contest the demand for permanent disability in a divorce by your spouse, be aware that the judge would take into consideration many factors before coming to a conclusion. These would include the duration of the marriage, the earnings capacity of both spouses, the contributions of each spouse to the marital home, the mental, physical and emotional state of the spouses and the custody of children, if any.

Online Divorce Resources

2008-07-28T05:01:00.001-07:00

The Internet is an outstanding resource for anyone who is thinking about getting a divorce. If there is a divorce in your future, there are thousands of online divorce resources that can help you with everything from finding out where to file, to helping your children cope with the consequences of your divorce. However, with such a wealth of information available online, it's hard to know where to start.

Your Local Courthouse Web Site

Divorce laws vary state by state, so divorce actions are always filed in state court. State courts are usually divided by county (or parish), so the best place to start when you are looking for online divorce information is the web site for your local county court system.

This online divorce resource will provide you with information on the filing fees for a divorce case, the amount of time the case will take to complete, and the office of a clerk who may be available to assist parties without lawyers who are filing do-it-yourself divorce forms.

Other resources you can study through your local courthouse's online divorce web site may include:

Marriage Counseling – In many states, free short-term marriage counseling is available so couples can determine whether their marriage can be saved. The cost of counseling is often included in the divorce filing fee, so there is no downside to trying this option.
Mediation – Mediators will help divorcing parents negotiate arrangements involving custody of children, how to divide the time with the children between the two parents, and mutual goals for the children's learning and development, so that parenting time with both parents moves the children toward achieving the goals. Like marriage counseling, the cost of mediation is usually built into the divorce filing fee.
Custody Evaluations – This is a fee-based service. Parents who dispute child custody and leave the decision of who gets custody up to a judge must have a custody evaluation conducted by a court official. These arrangements can often be made through an online divorce web site that links to the courthouse site.
Parent Education – This service is usually included in the cost of the divorce filing fee and is mandatory for divorcing parents of minor children. Parents learn specific things they can do to help minimize the negative effects of divorce on their children.

Divorce Lawyers' Web Sites

Large divorce law firms use their web presence to market their services, so they often have extensive online divorce resources on their web sites. Look for links to archived client newsletters and other published articles by attorneys in the firm.

Blogs

Don't overlook blogs as a great online divorce resource. Reading the blog of someone who is going through a divorce or has recently gone through a divorce can provide answers to questions and emotional support during a tough time.

Today's Marriages Ending In Divorce Statistics Paint An Alarming Picture About Children

2008-07-24T05:42:00.000-07:00

Marriage was once upon a time considered the most sacred of all social institutions and people used to take their vows of being united for life very seriously. Not anymore. Today, divorce rates are rising at an alarming rate all over the world, and this has an adverse impact on the psychology of the children of these broken marriages.

How Divorce Affects Children

According to marriages ending in divorce statistics, it does not matter how old the children are when a divorce takes place; the impact is more often than not quite devastating. Even though divorce is so common, children are still not able to adjust to the fact that their parents hate each other and do not want to live under the same roof any longer.

There are plenty of marriages ending in divorce statistics that clearly show that children tend to fall prey to depression, drugs, aggressive behavior and low self-esteem as a direct result of divorce. This does not mean that parents should stay together in spite of a bad marriage for the sake of the children, though it would be a good idea to try hard and work out the differences when children are involved. In case divorce was inevitable, you should take the children into your confidence and give them time to adjust to the idea.

How To Ease The Pain And Help Healing

Marriages ending in divorce statistics show that in most cases divorce would be less painful for the children who are told about what is going as early as possible, instead of just announcing the divorce to them.

Spouses need to consult each other closely on pre and post divorce parenting to minimize the trauma of their children. It is very important that they show a consensus on how to handle the situation in font of the children. Marriages ending in divorce statistics clearly show that when parents involve their children in decision-making during a divorce, they cope with the situation better than children who are handed down the verdict.

According to recent marriages ending in divorce statistics, children empathize with their parents during a divorce but they are shaken by their hatred for each other and feel responsible for the break up. When the passage is gradual and the children are kept informed about the developments at every stage, they find it easier to accept and cope with it. It is very important that they would not have to choose between the parents and at the same time be assured of the love and care of both their parents in equal measures.

Thinking Of The Children Who Suffer From The Effects Of Divorce

2008-07-23T05:44:00.000-07:00

Divorce is a devastating process for all parties involved. However, the people that the effects of divorce can be the most devastating for is the children from the marriage. Children might have several feelings about divorce, depending on how young they are. They might not understand what's going on, or they might feel forced to take sides. Whatever the case, one of the most important parts of the divorce process is ensuring that the effects of the divorce on the children are as smooth and seamless as possible.

The Young 'Uns

Young children feel the effects of divorce because oftentimes, they do not understand what exactly is happening. Children five, six, and seven years old cannot make rhyme or reason about why their parents don't love each other anymore. And while they do not need to be told in detail the reasons behind the divorce, they should be told that the divorce is not their fault. The effect of divorce on many young children is the tendency to think that it is somehow their own fault—and it is up to the parents to tell them that this is not true.

Acting Out

Another common effect of divorce on children is that the children begin to act out, in school and at home. Divorces can be long, time consuming processes—and many times, the kids get lost in the shuffle. Children will often act out in order to get their parent's attention. It is important that parents in the process of getting a divorce continue to devote time to their children.

Dealing With Devastation

Many marriages end on good terms. However, other marriages end in divorce as the result of a disaster—an affair, or a history of domestic violence. While getting a divorce is the first step toward eliminating the effect of these two monstrosities on the children involved, it is not the last step. Domestic violence and infidelity can leave long lasting effects on children, even after the divorce. Some children might have trouble trusting the opposite sex, and some may have relationship problems later on. Providing counseling for children if needed is important in order to help them handle the effects of divorce.

Parental Responsibilities

Though a divorce is caused by the problems between parents, the effects of the divorce on the children of the marriage are greater than those on others. These effects should be the primary concern of the parents—after all, handling them falls under basic parental responsibilities.

Dealing With The Worst Effects Of Divorce

2008-07-17T03:21:00.001-07:00

Divorce is very common today; people think they know all about it. The fact is that you do not really think or anticipate the effects of divorce until you are going through it. It catches you completely unprepared.

The Worst You Can Expect

People going through a bad marriage focus on the positive outcome from the divorce such as freedom to live as they want, peace in the home, ability to regain their lost identity, escape from an abusive spouse and so on. These are the positive aspects of divorce. You need to be aware that there are negative effects of divorce, too.

The first thing you should consider is your finances. If both spouses were working before the divorce, the living standards would definitely be different than when you would be the sole earning member. There would be a definite change in money flow and you should be prepared for it. This is one of the most important effects of divorce which you need to know about.

In case you are the homemaker and have no income other than your husband's salary it would be good if you enlist the support of your family or close friends during the divorce until the spousal support is awarded by the court. Without a definite source of income, it will be very difficult for you to fight the divorce case effectively.

Another very important aspect of divorce is the impact it has on the children. It has often been observed that the effects of divorce on children are very traumatic. Ideally, both parents need to consult each other and come to a consensus on how the children are handled during the process. In case of disagreement, the best would be to keep the arguments and remonstrations at the minimum in front of the children.

Whatever the grounds for divorce, children should be always reassured that they are loved dearly by both parents. Ideally, both parents should have access to the children and they should be allowed to move freely between them. However, in cases where custody is given to one of the parents and he or she does not want them to meet the other, the children need the circumstances very patiently explained, keeping the tainting of the "guilty" parent at the minimum.

Yet another negative effect of divorce is your fear starts again; your fear to get emotionally involved again. The best advice here is to take it one step at a time, which means you should always be open to the opportunity of finding the right person. After all, what is life without hope?

The Pro Of Pro Se Divorce — You Do It Yourself!

2008-07-15T05:33:00.000-07:00

Divorce can be complicated, or it can be very simple. This often depends on how the marriage ended — if it ended on good terms, then the result is a long, grueling process in which a divorce lawyer may be necessary. On the other hand, spouses who file for divorce on good terms might not need someone to oversee the process. This is where pro se divorce, or do it yourself divorce, comes in.

The Reasons For Taking Control

There are several reasons why people opt for do it yourself divorces. The couple might not be able to afford a divorce lawyer in the first place, and so they decided to take on a do it yourself divorce for financial reasons. Another situation that might arise is that the divorce is uncontested, and the couple do not have any children or shared marital assets. This situation would not warrant a divorce lawyer. Finally, some couples take over from a divorce lawyer if they are dissatisfied with the way that they are handling the divorce.

Beginning The Process

For those who decide to begin the do it yourself divorce process, the first step is to learn about what the state divorce laws are for the state in which they reside. Next, the Petitioner will have to file the Original Petition. This document can either be hand delivered or mailed to the local Court Clerk. A filing fee will be charged.

The next step when taking on a do it yourself divorce is optional. Declaring grounds for divorce is not required, and many states now have no fault divorce laws. However, in situations where infidelity or violence might be a factor, declaring grounds for divorce is typically a good idea because it may help the Petitioner to gain more in the settlement. However, it is important to keep this portion of the claim free from emotion.

Next the Respondent (the spouse who did not file for divorce) must be notified that the petition has been filed. If you are doing the divorce yourself, then you have three options. You can either serve the Respondent yourself, hire a process server to serve the petition, or you can request that they be served the petition through the mail if you are unable to locate them. If you serve them the petition yourself, then they must sign a waiver saying that you have done so.

Going To Court

Going to court is the final step in filing for divorce, whether you are doing it yourself or not. Before this occurs, a notice of hearing for temporary orders must be filed. This is only necessary if there are children or assets involved in the marriage that need to be dealt with immediately. A notice of hearing to set a date for the final divorce hearing then must be filed, and with that the period of “Discovery” begins. This allowed the spouses to gather documents and evidence on the other. Finally, a mandatory mediation process is usually required before finally going to court.

If You Want Something Done Right…

It might seem like more work to do the divorce yourself rather than hire a lawyer, but the truth is that taking control will allow you to handle your divorce the way you feel it should be handled. If you want your divorce done right, you have to do it yourself.

Survival Through Support: Divorce Support

2008-07-11T00:20:00.000-07:00

It could be easily argued that one of the most joyous occasions in a person’s life is a marriage. This special day is a celebration of the love and commitment between two individuals and is solemnized at an altar with many friends and family witnessing the vows that are exchanged.

In fact, recent statistics suggest that one out of every two marriages end in divorce. With this staggering 50% divorce rate it is important that both individuals work through the pain and the suffering that a divorce can bring.

That is why it is critical for individuals who have gone through a divorce or are in the process of divorce consider a divorce support group. A divorce support group can help the individual work through the suffering involved and help to facilitate the healing process. Additionally, it is important for the individual to realize there are many ways to access this method of healing. Two such ways to take advantage of divorce support groups is by physically attending such a group and through an online process.

What Is This?

A divorce support group is a powerful and therapeutic means in which a divorced individual can meet with and be supported by other divorced individuals. Generally, sessions are facilitated by a trained counselor or other professional who is able to provide insight and guidance to those who attend the group sessions.

In addition, the various members of the group can be encouraged by listening to other members of the group. This is extremely valuable in that each member maybe at a different stage in the recovery process. The value of these different levels of experience underscores to each of the individuals that eventually one can work through the anguish of a divorce.

In addition, a divorce support group is made up of a variety of people. This is important because it helps all of the members of the group to realize that the pain associated with a divorce crosses over all lines, including those or race and gender.

Experience It For Yourself

One of the more powerful ways to experience a divorce support group is through direct involvement. This means regular attendance in a group session and meeting face-to-face with the other members. One additional way to experience a divorce support group is by logging online.

This is extremely valuable in that the attending individual witnesses firsthand all of the associated trauma experienced by divorced individuals. Some of that trauma can be reflected in a person's body language, voice inflections, visible tears, facial expressions and silence. Often by attending a divorce support group in person an individual is able to reach beyond themselves in an effort to help others. This can be especially medicinal as one begins to focus on the other individual’s pain rather than their own.

Divorce Statistics can Paint an Interesting Picture of Our Culture

2008-07-10T01:33:00.000-07:00

There was a time when divorce was not only discouraged; it was actually illegal. Couples who did not get along were forced to either live together and deal with their problems unhappily, or separate without divorcing and without the option to remarry in the future.

Today in the United States, divorce is a very common legal procedure that takes place every day in every state. The incidence of divorce has shot up considerably since the mid-twentieth century, and now the social stigma that used to surround divorce has largely disappeared.

Half of Marriages end in Divorce?

While commonly-quoted divorce statistics say that 50% of marriages in the United States will end in divorce, this is not the whole truth. There are many factors that need to be considered before subscribing to divorce statistics such as this.

First of all, there are different divorce rates depending on how many times you have been married before. For a first marriage, the divorce rate is indeed around 40% to 50%. However, for a second marriage the divorce rate shoots up to in the neighborhood of 60% to 67%. For a third marriage, the divorce rate can be as high as 74%.

An interesting side note to these startling divorce statistics is that couples with children tend to divorce less often than childless couples. Some studies suggest that up to 66% of divorced couples have no children. The studies do not indicate whether those couples which children who do not divorce are staying together for the sake of the kids or whether having children really does seal a marriage bond.

Looking at these divorce statistics, it is evident that after a first marriage fails, subsequent marriages are more likely to fail as well. There are some lucky people who find a lasting marriage the second or third time around, though, even after the first marriage is not successful.

Differences around the World

While these divorce statistics may appear surprising, the divorce statistics from other countries are even more surprising. Other western countries share similar divorce rates to the United States, while many Asian countries show a very low incidence of divorce. Is this because these cultures frown on divorce, or is it because couples there are better able to work through their marital problems?

Anthropologists and sociologists continue to study the phenomenon of divorce and the impact that it has on our culture. There's no doubt that today's divorce statistics will be of great help to future generations of social scientists who attempt to understand our culture.

Opening Your Eyes To Divorce Settlements

2008-06-25T00:44:00.000-07:00

Think divorce settlements are easy? Think again, because nothing could be further from the truth. Divorce settlements involve all the post-divorce arrangements, and not only the fixation of the alimony (also known as maintenance or spousal support in different states) as commonly believed.

Some Facts You Should Know

Divorce is a painful period even if it is undergone through mutual consent. You are choosing to end a relationship which at one point of time was the greatest highlight of your life. The divorce settlements are painful because trust is no longer a common factor between the spouses and each one would try to look after their own interests in the best ways they could.

Normally the wife would be entitled to alimony and an equitable share of the marital property. The alimony would be an amount of money that would help her sustain herself. In case the marital standard of living was very high and the ex-husband can afford it, the alimony would be fixed in such a manner that the ex-wife would continue to live in the same manner.

In order to get the best possible settlement you need obtain (with proof) a list of the sources of your husband's income, assets and capacity of earning. The best divorce settlements are secured when the overall income and property is properly and painstakingly documented with proof. In case you are not sure he is telling the truth about his worth and you are afraid that you would be cheated you could use the services of an investigative agency that could trace and document everything you need.

Influencing Factors

The factors that influence all divorce settlements would include the earning ability of both spouses, the custody of the children, the contribution of each spouse to the marital property, any temporary or permanent disability, the mental and emotional condition of the spouses, and the degree of guilt of the erring spouse among others.

You need to be very careful while making the list of assets. Do not forget to include the debts that were incurred during the marriage which would also be taken into consideration for the settlement.

Each state in the USA has its own laws and it is important that you consult with a divorce attorney from that particular state so you could know how to use those laws to get the best possible settlement with the least possible effort and cost.

The best way out, of course, would be to talk it over with your spouse and come to an agreement which would ensure that both parties are completely satisfied.

Be Aware Of Divorce Rights

2008-06-18T04:39:00.001-07:00

One of the ugliest words in the English language is divorce. This is because divorce is a tragic ending to a relationship that once started with vows of commitment which expressed undying devotion and faithfulness through sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until death us do part.

However, despite the tragedy of divorce, it is not an event where one marital partner is obligated to give up certain rights just because the marriage ends in divorce. Specifically, two divorce rights that are afforded to divorcing couples is the right to receive a portion of the assets accumulated through the marriage and child support of any children.

Understanding Divorce Rights

Divorce rights are those legal privileges afforded to those couples who choose to dissolve their marital union through a divorce decree. Generally, these rights are inherent through the judicial system, but can also be negotiated through the divorce decree.

Also, it is important to note that divorce rights vary from state to state. For example one state may require the payment of alimony to the divorced spouse, while other states may not require the payment of alimony.

The Divorce Right Of Division Of Property

One primary divorce right is the proper distribution of all assets accumulated by the marital couple. This simply means that all properties, financial accounts, retirement accounts, pensions, 401(k), etc. are to be divided between the two separating entities in an equitable fashion.

This divorce right can be negotiated between the two individuals from the dissolving marriage. If an agreement cannot be reached at this level then the court may appoint an arbitrator to facilitate the distribution of the assets. If an agreement still cannot be reached than a presiding judge will make a determination.

Again it is important to note that although these divorce rights are part of the judicial system for all states, it may not be handled in the same manner. For example some states are no-fault divorce states which mean that no cause for dissolution of the marriage is needed. Where as in other states there may need to be an unequal division of assets based on the actions of the divorcing partner. Some of those actions may include infidelity, criminal acts performed, abuse, etc.

The Divorce Right Of Child Support

One other important divorce right that surrounds the dissolution of the marriage is the support of any resulting children from the marital union. This simply means that if there are children involved in the divorcing family, it is the divorce right of the custodial parent to receive child support from the other parent. Often, child support varies from state to state, but despite the geographical variance the inherent right for the custodial parent to receive child support is mandated.

Divorce Recovery Often Takes Time

2008-06-16T00:49:00.001-07:00

Divorce has consequences for the couple involved as well as their friends and family. Good friends of a couple sometimes feel awkward remaining friends with people who are experiencing difficulty. Sometimes friends and family get stuck in the middle of disputes. A divorce also has many disagreements that must be resolved and many arrangements that must be completed. Getting a divorce often means that assets must be divided. People with children have even more problems to solve as they work toward a divorce. The troubles and traumas of finalizing a divorce often lead to worry, anxiety and exhaustion for the people involved. Divorce recovery takes time before the hurt can be healed and the disruptions settled.

Divorce recovery is often required for many years after the final divorce decree. Divorce recovery is different for everybody. Some people do not miss a beat, and they recover from the trauma almost immediately. Other people never find divorce recovery possible, and they suffer the pain and consequences for many years after the settlement of their divorce. Divorce recovery for some of these people is very difficult, and they probably need professional help to carry them forward.

Divorce Recovery Sometimes Requires Professional Support

Divorce recovery is sometimes difficult which makes it necessary to seek professional help to settle some problems. Although some people are minimally affected by the loss of their spouse, other people are very traumatized. People often develop depression and other problems. Lives can be totally changed by a divorce. A family unit is often torn apart. People who had companions are often left lonely. Some of these people often benefit if they work with a professional counselor who has experience helping others with similar problems.

Some people need to see a counselor for a short period of time while others see a counselor for years after their divorce. The counselor can help them cope with the losses that they suffer. Some people who never had to work have to get a job. A good counselor can help people with this task. Children are often greatly affected by a divorce and often feel that the problems are their fault. A good counselor can help children understand the problems in their lives. Divorce recovery is often easier if all the people involved try to remain friendly. Anger and hatred can make the entire process unbearable. An understanding counselor can help everyone work together for an amicable transition to a new way of life.

Birth, Death, and Divorce Records can all be Useful

2008-06-10T05:52:00.000-07:00

We live in the information age. Right now, it's possible to access almost every piece of information ever published anywhere. This has been called a great asset to our society, but it has also been called a downfall since there is almost no privacy in a society where your entire life can be traced by almost anyone.

However, there are some instances where personal information needs to be accessible, and having it available is a great benefit. For example, when conducting genealogy research, it is vital to have access to birth records, immigration papers, death certificates, and other artifacts of a life.

There are even daily, practical reasons for needing access to vital records of people who may still be alive today. Records such as adoption papers can help reunite adopted people with their birth parents. Access to court records and other legal information can help to solve crimes or resolve conflicts.

Using Divorce Records Constructively

Even divorce records can be used for constructive purposes. Accessing divorce records can help to locate people much more accurately than birth certificates, since obviously any divorce records will be more recent.

If you are investigating a person's background, divorce records can help to paint a more complete picture of that person. People sometimes conceal the fact that they have been married previously. If you are involved with someone and suspect that they are not what they seem, accessing their divorce records may be necessary to uncover the truth.

If court judgment information is included along with the divorce records, you can also see if that person has a history of illegal acts or if they have been accused of violence or infidelity by former spouses. While these are things that should be disclosed by that person, some people are unable or unwilling to be honest about their past. Having divorce records including this information can help to open up communication about the incidents in their past.

There are a few ways to obtain divorce records, but the easiest is to use one of the online database searches that promise to be able to retrieve any court information for a fee. Since these records are only kept on the state level, finding them from out of state can be impossible.

Hiring a special company to do the background work for you can save much time and money. You do need to know what state the divorce records are filed in before you conduct the search.

Although it isn't pleasant to think about, having access to an individual's divorce records may save you a lot of heartbreak and trouble in the future. If you have any doubts about a certain person, it may be worth your time to gather all of the background information about them that you can find.

Divorce Rates Around The World

2008-05-28T05:24:00.001-07:00

An often cited statistic heard on talk radio is that half of the marriages in the United States end in divorce. But what does that divorce rate statistic really mean?

Anna And Betty

Take two sisters, for example: Anna and Betty. Anna has been happily married to her first husband for ten years; after two failed marriages, Betty is happily married to her third husband. There are four marriages between the two of them, and their divorce rate is 50%.

Consider Anna's and Betty's husbands, Al and Bill, each of whom has been married one time. Among the four of them, three of these individuals have a divorce rate of 0%, and one of them has a divorce rate of 66%. Sixty-six divided by four is only 16.5, so it can also be said that their divorce rate is 16.5%.

Before Betty remarried, she was zero for two: two marriages and two divorces. At that time, her divorce rate was 100% -- or was it 200%? As you can see, statistics can be interpreted several different ways, depending on the context in which data is viewed.

Global Numbers

One way to look at divorce rates, and to compare the rate of failed marriages in the United States to other countries in the world, is to look at the number of divorces among 1,000 people. Applying this statistical sampling method to our example, we would compare Betty's two divorces to the number of people in both Anna's and Betty's families. Counting Anna, Al, Betty, Bill, Anna and Al's two children, Art and Alden, and Betty's son from her second husband, Bob, the divorce rate comes to 28% using that example.

Using the rate of divorces per 1,000 people, the United States has a divorce rate in 2000 of just 4.1%. That number sounds low compared to the 50% rate advertised by some anti-marriage talk radio hosts, but it actually is quite high compared to other nations.

What nations have similar divorce rates? Only one country, Russia, has a higher rate of failed marriage than the United States. The rate in Russia is 4.3%, and the rate in the Ukraine is 4%. Interestingly, the rate in Cuba, another communist country, is 3.54%.

Even U.S. territories have relatively higher rates of people who get divorced than most other countries. The rate in Puerto Rico is 3.82%; in Guam, it is 4.34%. Contrast these rates with France (2%), Ecuador (.73%), and Canada (2.28%).

Statistics can be fun to read and wonder about, but what do they really mean? It's up to each of us to decide for ourselves.

The Final Reality: Divorce Property Settlement

2008-05-27T01:37:00.000-07:00

If and when married couples decide to dissolve their matrimonial union, much pain and anguish associated with this decision. Some of this pain can be emotional, physical, and mental. This torment can be attributed to the fact that the original intentions of marriage incorporate such commitments as loving, honoring, working through sickness and health situations and not allowing anything to dissolve the marital union except death.

Also, one additional pain that can be associated with divorce is financial pain. This financial pain is due to the fact that possessions and financial strides that have been made as partners now need to be divided as well. Therefore, it is important to understand about divorce property settlement, protecting the interests of all involved and the pitfalls associated with a divorce property settlement.

What Is Going On Here?

A divorce property settlement is an arrangement that occurs when the assets of the divorcing couple are divided. This process can take place in a courtroom, can be done by an arbitrator or can be accomplished fairly between the divorcing couple themselves.

Specifically, if the interested parties cannot come to terms in regards to a settlement, a court-appointed arbitrator may be assigned to help facilitate an agreement between the two parties. If an impasse is experienced, then the judge will preside over the case and make a judgment in regards to the divorce property settlement.

Protecting The Individual’s Interests

Generally a divorce property settlement is defined as each of the separating entities receiving a 50-50 split of the couple's assets. However, there may be extenuating circumstances in that one of the divorcing partners may have been abusive, unfaithful or exhibited some other untoward behavior. If such behavior is brought to light during the settlement proceedings then there may be a more differentiated split of the assets between the divorcing couple.

Pitfalls

As with anything, there can be many pitfalls associated with a divorce property settlement. First of all, because of the emotion involved, one of the individuals may be extremely vulnerable. Therefore, it is of extreme importance that proper representation be achieved so that an advocate can properly represent the individual’s interests in the divorce.

In addition, it is of extreme importance to take in consideration all assets involved as part of the matrimonial union. Some of those forgotten assets may include retirement or pension plans.

Finally, it is of extreme importance that before signing any agreements, the individual is fully aware of what terms are involved with the divorce property settlement. Therefore, it is important to understand the arrangement that is being proposed before any signatures are given.

Getting Served With Divorce Papers

2008-05-26T04:21:00.000-07:00

The dreaded event -- being served with divorce papers -- is an even often cited in popular culture. You're probably read a novel or watched a movie where one of the characters was in a deep depression, explaining their black mood by saying they had just received divorce papers.

All the other characters in the scene nod empathetically and make sympathetic noises as they commiserate with the soon-to-be-divorced person. In other fictional works, one character tries to get their spouse to sign divorce papers. So, what's the big deal about divorce papers? What are they, anyway?

What Are They?

Divorce laws vary from state to state, so the papers required to get a divorce in each state will be different, depending on where you live. You should never rely on the Internet for legal advice, but you can get a general idea of what divorce papers entail by doing some simple searches.

The opening documents in most divorces are a summons and a complaint, or a petition to dissolve the marriage. Getting married creates a contractual legal relationship between two people, and the purpose of this set of divorce papers is to ask a judge to end that legal relationship. The petition does just that: it petitions the court for an order – a divorce decree – that dissolves the partnership between the married couple. The summons is served on the non-filing party, along with a copy of the petition, to "summon" him or her to the court so they can respond to the petition.

In some states, and in some circumstances, the non-filing party will file a divorce paper known as an answer or response. This document is usually only filed if the non-filing party opposes the divorce or wants the court to divide the marital property a certain way, or if the non-filing party wants to ask for attorney fees, child support, or spousal support.

After the initial papers are filed, the parties try to work out an equitable property division and support arrangements. By far, most cases are resolved at this point. Some couples require the assistance of mediators, arbitrators, and attorneys to accomplish the property division and support arrangements.

Other couples – especially those without children or property – can agree to call it a day without involving other parties. They divide their property, sign an agreement, and all that remains is to turn the divorce papers in to the court and wait for the judge to sign them.

The final divorce paper is the divorce decree that the judge signs. This document is usually called a judgment or order of dissolution, and it dissolves the marriage on a particular date, usually about 30 days after the judge signs it.

Is Divorce Mediation Right For You?

2008-05-21T05:03:00.000-07:00

Couples who use divorce mediation can save thousands of dollars in attorney fees and untold energy in reduced stress.

Deciding To Divorce

The decision to get divorced is even more important than deciding to get married. By the time a couple decides to get divorced, they may have tried marriage counseling, marriage therapy weekends, religious instruction, and psychotherapy.

It's not surprising that so much time, energy, and consideration goes into a decision to divorce, when you consider all the effects of a divorce: deciding who gets to live where, who gets the house, who gets which cars, and how all the personal effects, from pots and pants to knick-knacks and rugs, will be divided among the two of them.

If the couple has children, the decision is even harder. Who will have custody of the children? Where will they live? How much time will they spend with each parent? Will the grandparents still get to see the kids? Which religion will they follow? What sports will they participate in? These are all decisions that are harder to make when parents are no longer living together in a marriage.

Deciding To Mediate

Divorce mediation helps troubled couples to make these decisions in a way that reduces negative impact on the children and reduces the likelihood that the property division will decrease the value of the couple's assets.

Divorce mediation is not for everyone. It requires two people who are honest about their situation and who desire to achieve a positive outcome from their divorce. If either the husband or the wife wants to hide assets, make the other party miserable, or take unfair advantage of the other party, divorce mediation will not succeed.

Advantages

The advantages of divorce mediation are many. For one thing, mediation costs less. The couple usually splits the fee of the mediator, which can range from $1,000 to several thousand dollars. Without mediation, each party pays his or her own lawyer, which costs about the same as a mediator, times two.

The biggest advantage of divorce mediation is that the couple decides the outcome of the divorce. In divorce mediation, the mediator's goal is to get the couple to agree on every step of the process. Together, husband and wife agree on when to file for divorce, how to divide parenting time with the children, how to divide property, and so forth. Without mediation, a judge tells the couple how it's going to be, and they are stuck with that outcome. They may end up sitting in the courtroom thinking, "Wow. I could have done better than that if I'd used divorce mediation."

Couples who believe they can reasonably work together to end their marriage should definitely consider divorce mediation.

Divorce Lawyers To Avoid

2008-05-20T05:52:00.000-07:00

Are you ready to get divorced, but you're not sure how to pick a divorce lawyer? There are several different types of divorce lawyers, so choosing the right kind is important. Before you start looking, you should know that the lawyer you choose might be classified as a barracuda, a businessman, or a flirt.

The Barracuda

This is the divorce lawyer you choose when you want to make your spouse miserable. The Barracuda goes for the jugular every single time. Every step of the way will be difficult. If you are the one who files for the divorce, the Barracuda will serve your spouse with divorce papers in the most embarrassing way imaginable. If you are the one who got served, the Barracuda will badger your spouse's divorce lawyer at every step along the way, all through discovery, divorce mediation, and trial.

The Barracuda comes with a heavy price tag. Not only will your divorce lawyer fees be extraordinarily and unnecessarily high, your spouse will probably hate you for the rest of your life, if he or she doesn't already.

The Businessman

This is the divorce lawyer who wants to hear "just the facts, ma'am." The Businessman can be male or female; either way, they are all business, all the time. This lawyer sees divorce work as contract work: the contract has been breached, and all that remains to be done is to calculate the damages. The Businessman has virtually no "bedside manner" and, if you live in a no-fault divorce state, will not want to hear stories about how you have been wronged by your spouse.

Choosing the Businessman as your divorce lawyer will save you money in hourly fees. However, the Businessman's approach may seem a little too cool and calculated for you, especially if your divorce is an emotional experience. You may wish to find a divorce lawyer who doesn't mind doing a little hand-holding along the way.

The Flirt

Believe it or not, some divorce lawyers flirt with their clients. Do you remember Arnold Becker, from the 1980s television series, L.A. Law? Arnie was a handsome divorce lawyer who usually represented shapely, attractive females with whom he had flings. These days, Arnie could be disbarred in most states for inappropriate relations with his clients. However, most of these states do allow lawyers to have intimate relationships with clients after the divorce.

Hiring the Flirt as a divorce lawyer can be an advantage when the Flirt uses their skills on opposing counsel or on an easily-flattered judge. However, this is a long shot. You are better off choosing a divorce lawyer for their legal experience, their skill, and their ability to handle you divorce quickly and efficiently.

Divorce Information Is Most Important

2008-04-30T06:02:00.000-07:00

Divorce is rarely a pleasant experience, but some couples suffer less than others. The successful dissolution of a marriage could help couples avoid costly fees and emotional trauma. Divorce information is the key to a better solution for the couple involved. The first divorce information should be about the divorce laws in the different states. Filing for divorce in one state rather than the forty-nine others could make a substantial difference because all of the states have different laws. In general, a divorce is governed by the laws of the state where it is first filed.

Divorce information is important for choosing the location for filing the papers. Some states have very strong laws about community property while other states have laws that have different ways of dividing the assets of a couple. Some states have stiffer laws about the reasons for a divorce. Divorce information will provide couples with the information to protect their assets and emotions. Divorce information will also prepare couples for the time elements involved in these proceedings. Some couples want the divorce final as quickly as possible while other couples are not in such a hurry. If time is an important consideration, couples should get the divorce information that will help them plan ahead.

Divorce Information Provides For Planning

Most couples end up paying a lawyer for services to finalize a divorce. These experts should be able to supply their clients with plenty of divorce information. Choosing a knowledgeable lawyer could make a significant difference, but a good lawyer could also be very costly. These factors need to be weighed when making decisions. A good divorce lawyer might be expensive, but they might save an individual a lot of money and prevent them from making costly mistakes.

Recently divorced friends and family might be a great source of divorce information. Recent and relevant experience might help any individual working towards a divorce so people should try to pick up information from those with experience. There are also some excellent websites that provide great and relevant divorce information. These websites are designed and written by experienced people. Although individuals may eventually hire a lawyer, the websites have information that may get them started on the right track and save them some money in lawyer’s fees. Many of these websites have information that is specific to all of the states so people will know more about the best course of action after viewing information on a website.

Where To Find Divorce Help

2008-04-28T05:54:00.000-07:00

Do you want to get divorced, but you're not sure how to start the process? You don't know if you need to get a lawyer, or how much it will cost, or when you should tell your spouse about your decision, or whether your spouse has to agree to a divorce. You need divorce help.

Your Spouse Wants To Get Divorced

You also need divorce help if your spouse has just told you that he or she wants a divorce, and you feel too paralyzed to do anything about it. Oftentimes, the other spouse does not want a divorce, and didn't even see it coming. They feel blindsided. They don't know what will happen next, or how to make sure they get everything they are entitled to. A parent staying at home with children who has foregone employment opportunities is especially vulnerable and needs divorce help in this situation.

Both Husband And Wife Want To Get Divorced

The other kind of people who need divorce help are couples who, acting together, agree that their marriage is irretrievably broken and they both decide, virtually at the same time, that divorce is the best next step for them to take. They are disappointed in themselves, but they are both ready to move on.

Free Resources

Divorce laws change from state to state. Rules and restrictions that apply to residents of New York who are getting divorced are drastically different than the rules and restrictions that apply, for instance, to residents of California. Divorce help should be local help. That said, there are many self-help web sites that answer basic questions about divorce. Many questions can be answered just by typing them into a search engine like Google or Yahoo.

However, the best free resource may be the web site for the state courts in your state. Divorce actions are always filed in state court – not federal court. Virtually every state or county court web site has a section on divorces. There you will find answers to questions about filing fees, waiting periods, forms, whether you must appear before a judge, how you can do it yourself, and so forth. Do not overlook this valuable resource for divorce help!

Paid Resources

If you have children, or if you have a home or land or significant debt, you will probably need to pay for divorce help in the form of a counselor, a mediator, a lawyer, or all three. Some say a common rule of thumb is to look at the cost of your wedding, divide it by one-half, and that is approximately how much your divorce will cost. This isn't always true, but generally speaking, anyone who can afford a lavish wedding will have monetary assets that merit spending enough money on a divorce to make sure that you don’t go broke.